watching steve martin play the banjo only served to make him exponentially more attractive. thank you, global warming, for requiring a benefit.

i always cringe a little when someone says, "you do the math." it's all i can do not to yell back, "I AM NOT GOING TO DO THE MATH. I BARELY PASSED MATH IN ANY FORM. YOU GO DO THE STINKING MATH."

how do scientists know that every snowflake is different? no freaking way they checked them all. what are they going to try to make us believe next? that there is some magical thing called ribonucleic acid or even deoxyribonucleic acid and that it's all different or like, finger prints being unique? whatever.

i just heard a radio ad for a lasik surgery dude who says that even though he is new to portland, we can trust him onaccountabecause he has over a half a million happy customers or something. that makes me trust him less. i'd way rather have my peepers surged on by someone with, say, a hundred happy customers. i bet after like two thousand surgeries or so, you stop paying such close attention and you start like, watching joni loves chachi and eating cheetoes while you operate.